It was International Women’s Day 2023 when I found out the gender of my third child – a girl. We already had two daughters, a 3-year-old and a 21-month-old. We were shocked by the news of having a third girl, but overjoyed to bring a tribe of strong women into the world. Once the adrenaline of the good news faded, it hit me.
Three girls meant three opportunities to pass on my hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) to my daughters.
Anxiety and sadness overcame me.
I thought about my three pregnancies. The years of feeling isolated while pregnant. The disappointment of missing holidays, celebrations, vacations, and play days outside with my children. The hospital stays, the IVs, and the suppositories. Disguising how sick I felt because I didn’t want others to worry. The mental gymnastics of feeling gratitude for my pregnancies while simultaneously feeling resentment for the physical toll this has taken on my body. The guilt of knowing there are many women with HG who have had it much worse.
I do not regret it, but I do not want to experience it again.
I wouldn’t wish my pregnancies on any mama, and most definitely not my own daughters. I looked at the prescription bottles on my bathroom counter that helped me endure my daily nausea and vomiting. I was resilient and able to navigate these challenges, but would my children be able to? I always heard,
“As parents, we want a better for our children than we had.” Nothing reins truer for me. I would never want my daughters to experience this level of fatigue, sadness, loneliness, and fear when pregnant.
They call it morning sickness, but my vomiting peaked at the end of the day. After spending a typical evening on the bathroom floor, I sat with my husband and vocalized my fears of passing HG to my daughters.
My husband said, “Hopefully they will have something better for our daughters by then.” That phrase stuck with me. That’s all I could really do was hope that by the time my daughters have children there will be more advances in the ways that we support women with HG. Every time I felt the anxiety creep up, I focused on having hope.
After the birth of our youngest, we decided it was unhealthy for me to carry another child. Each pregnancy became more challenging, and raising children while pregnant with HG was grueling. The stressors of our third pregnancy led to my husband being diagnosed with Shingles just hours after I delivered.
Hope for Future Generations
I felt passionate about my experience with HG and wanted to be a support to other women, or potentially to one of my daughters in the future. I reached out to the HER Foundation to see how I could help and I learned so much about the incredible progress they have made. There are remarkable advancements happening at the HER Foundation and they should be shared with the world. I learned that Dr. Marlena Fejzo was named TIME Woman of the Year for her research that uncovered a link between levels of GDF15 and nausea and vomiting during pregnancy. I also learned that there are HG treatment centers opening in the US. I read about the support groups, treatment protocols, and clinical tools created by the HER Foundation. These monumental achievements provide HOPE that women are currently experiencing HG can be offered better care, and maybe an overall better sense of well-being during their pregnancies.
During HG Awareness Month, I encourage you to ask a pregnant woman how they are feeling. If they say they are experiencing nausea or vomiting, refrain from asking if they have “tried ginger” or tell them that it usually goes away after the first trimester. Instead of offering solutions, aim to ignite HOPE.
Share the information about the HER Foundation and the advancements that have been made. Ask them if they have heard about Dr. Fejzo’s research. They may not have HG, but they may know someone who does or will hear of someone who has it in the future.
You could connect someone to a life changing resource and create a positive space for them to feel supported during their pregnancy. The HER Foundation has renewed a sense of hope for me, my daughters, HG survivors, and all women around the world.
~Elizabeth Meyer, CA, USA
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