Knuckling my HG experiences down to a few words is really hard. The first thing that comes to mind is how angry, withdrawn, and frustrated I was. Weeks and weeks of vomiting from 15-30+ times a day really took its toll on not only my physical well-being but my mental and spiritual health as well. I went into a deep dark hole with both HG pregnancies. Sometimes thinking the most unthinkable things because I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
I had liter upon liter put through an IV, just so that I could survive. I was hospitalized countless times. The nurses knew me instantly when I arrived. I had to stay in the Intensive Care Unit with my youngest. My arms were black, my bones stuck out, I vomited blood, my kidneys suffered, I couldn’t shower or feed myself. I became a mere shell of a person.My nausea started almost instantly at 5-6 weeks along and lasted into the mid-20s. I am one of the lucky ones as well because the last trimester of both pregnancies, my HG completely vanished. However, the anxiety and pure terror of it return plagued me for the rest of both pregnancies. Any hint of nausea, I would think that it was coming back.
Thinking back on both hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) journeys with our daughters, my stomach still drops and my blood runs cold. When I hear of anyone else with HG, I feel physically ill. HG has certainly left its mark on me in more than one way. Being pregnant was by far the most frightening, debilitating, hardest time in my life. I would see pregnant friends or other women that looked so beautiful being pregnant and, I would look at myself and see bones and a gaunt, sunken face.
Writing my experiences down really helped me to heal from the trauma side of HG. To this day I find my mind wanders back sometimes and I get anxious, I feel sick and it upsets me. But all I need when this happens is to see our two beautiful girls, who are growing up so quickly and my heart fills with love. I’m still not the best nauseous person and my husband can vouch for that! So when I think of HG, it is bittersweet. It really was the most awful thing to experience, but I’m so thankful I have two healthy daughters: I wouldn’t change my HG journeys for the world.All of this to bring two beautiful souls into the world.
I am HER! You are HER! We are HER!
Believe in HER!
Together, we are changing
the future for the next generation!
What is HG? HG is hyperemesis gravidarum: a potentially life-threatening pregnancy disease that causes chronic malnutrition, dehydration, and debility due to severe nausea and vomiting, and may cause long-term health issues for mom/baby.