“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”
~ Bob Marley
In the journey of motherhood, some women face unique challenges. One such challenge is hyperemesis gravidarum. My name is Sascha, and I am an HG survivor.
Hyperemesis gravidarum, also known as HG, is excessive sickness during pregnancy. The symptoms are debilitating—you might vomit many times a day and become severely dehydrated. It’s a rare condition, affecting about 2 percent of women, and one of the most confusing and misunderstood pregnancy complications.
The Mental and Physical Toll of HG
My pain was obvious to everyone around me, but they just didn’t get it. Most of the time, I could be found lying on the couch, in bed, or next to the toilet. My boyfriend at the time had to help me bathe because I couldn’t do it myself. Even brushing my hair felt like an overwhelming chore.
The employees at the doctor’s office knew me by name. I’d lay on the hospital bed, waiting for IV fluids. This routine became my entire pregnancy. Occasionally, I’d have one “good” week, but then everything would go downhill again.
Simple tasks like taking a shower felt impossible. My throat constantly burned and hurt from the relentless vomiting, and sometimes I even bled from my throat. Car rides were out of the question—I barely had the energy to make it to the front door. Crying became my only relief, but even that was fleeting.
During this time, I felt scared, alone, and like I wasn’t normal. I hesitated to open up to anyone because it felt silly to complain about nausea, especially when some women were struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss.
The Emotional Isolation
I began to resent the life growing inside me and my boyfriend because I felt like he didn’t understand me. I was afraid to leave my house—no place felt safe except home. I withdrew from the world and started down a long, dark road of depression.
This was a debilitating condition that robbed me of any joy I should have felt during pregnancy. I will never forget one morning when I was alone and became so sick I couldn’t even stand up. I fell to the floor and called my boyfriend in desperation, but like everyone else, he thought I was being dramatic and said I’d be fine if I just drank some water.
The Struggle for Medical Support
I started taking Zoloft to help manage my mental health, but the doctor assured me my “morning sickness” would subside after the first trimester. It didn’t. After 20 weeks, I lost hope. Deep down, I knew I’d be stuck with this sickness for the rest of the pregnancy.
Medical professionals need to stop dismissing hyperemesis gravidarum as “just morning sickness.” HG is a real illness that needs to be taken seriously. If I had the support I deserved, I believe my pregnancy would have been more manageable. Instead, the healthcare system failed me, leaving me with painful memories that I’ll carry for the rest of my life.
The Worst Part of HG
The worst part of HG was the complete lack of control over my own health and body. It felt like a narcissist gaslighting me into believing I wasn’t strong enough, belittling me, and making me feel like I was being overdramatic.
HG was both physically and mentally draining. Nothing helped—not ginger, not chewing gum, not nausea pops, not medication, not saltine crackers. It was incredibly hard, especially since I already had a 7-year-old child to care for.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
If I’m being 100 percent honest, I still haven’t fully recovered from the trauma of my HG experience. I don’t trust my body to carry another child, and sometimes I don’t trust that I’ll ever find a partner who can truly understand my needs.
But there is light at the end of the tunnel. It may take time—sometimes until delivery—but this won’t last forever. You are doing everything you can, and that is enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
I cried after my son was born because the fight was finally over. Despite everything, I now have an absolutely gorgeous son who brings my whole family so much joy. He is truly God’s gift.
A Call for Compassion
Pregnancy is hard, but HG makes it a million times harder. I pray that your mothers, wives, girlfriends, sisters, aunts, first-time moms, seasoned moms, and cousins never have to go through HG. But if they do, please be kind to them. Be patient, hug them, and love on them—they’ll need it.
Don’t dismiss their suffering or sweep their ailments under the rug. Most importantly, let them know they are not alone.
Why I Share My Story
I feel the need to raise awareness about HG because no one should ever feel as isolated and misunderstood as I did. My advice for anyone suffering is to seek support, advocate for yourself, and fight for the care you need.
My hope in sharing this story is that someone, somewhere will find solace in these words. I hope that she feels empowered to tell her own story. By sharing our experiences, we can find meaning in seasons of suffering.
This is why I became a writer—because when we find meaning, we also find strength.
