I was 15 years old when I first discovered I was a victim of Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). I remember being so sick that I couldn’t go to school, take a shower by myself, or even get out of bed. I threw up over 50 times a day, which led to the termination of my very first pregnancy.
At such a young age, I fell into a deep depression—not only because I was 15 and pregnant, but because I was forced to get an abortion. By the time I was only six weeks along, I had already lost 30 pounds from the relentless vomiting.
A Second Chance at Motherhood
A year later, I became pregnant again. Still carrying regret from my first abortion, I wanted to keep this baby no matter what. I endured immense pain and suffering as HG once again took hold. That pregnancy drained every ounce of life from me.
The constant trips to the ER were unbearable. Doctors repeatedly told me to drink ginger ale and eat crackers, as if those remedies would somehow solve the problem. At eight weeks, I attended my first OBGYN appointment, only to be rushed to the hospital for severe dehydration caused by the endless nausea and vomiting.
My urine was so dark that my doctor initially thought it was blood. I spent about four weeks in the hospital and had a PICC line placed in my arm to receive medication and IV fluids, which made things only slightly manageable.
The Isolation of HG
I spent the majority of that pregnancy isolated from my friends and family. I never had the energy to do anything. I couldn’t even eat the foods I craved. Every day was pure pain and suffering.
I required a home nurse to visit twice a week to change my dressings and monitor my condition. I had to withdraw from high school and complete my education through homeschooling. HG peaked at five weeks, and from that point on, life was pure hell.
I had to constantly spit throughout my pregnancy and couldn’t leave the house without a spit cup or bag. Before I could gain any weight, I lost a total of 60 pounds.
A Premature Delivery
HG caused me to deliver my daughter at 33 weeks. Thankfully, she didn’t have any complications, and I was able to bring her home after just a five-day hospital stay. On the bright side, my HG symptoms disappeared as soon as my baby was born.
Dreams Shattered by HG
HG has stripped me of my dream of having a big family. I’ve had to terminate four pregnancies because of this condition. No matter how much I wanted those children, HG always won the battle.
Each pregnancy after my daughter was significantly worse. My HG was more severe with each pregnancy. I tried everything to prepare my body beforehand—taking recommended vitamins, changing my diet, and using every safe medication available—but nothing provided lasting relief.
HG robbed me of something I can never get back. I only get to experience the joy of being pregnant for about one week before the sickness takes over.
Fighting Through It
I’ve fought so hard to give my daughter a sibling. I went through all the emotions of finding out I was pregnant—the excitement, the thrill, and the pure joy of creating life—only to have that joy crushed when the sickness began.
I cried and screamed because I knew I wouldn’t even be able to take care of the child I already have while battling this monster of a disease. It’s so unfair. I wish there were a cure. I went from imagining what my baby would look and be like to lying on a table for yet another abortion because I had no other choice. I wouldn’t wish HG on my worst enemy.
Then I found out I was pregnant again—this time with a baby boy. Once again, I was faced with the nightmare of HG. This pregnancy brought more hospital stays, another PICC line, and countless episodes of vomiting and nausea.
But this time, I came prepared. I fiercely advocated for myself and made sure I had an amazing team of doctors who listened to me and did all they could to make HG as manageable as possible. Even though this pregnancy was also hell, I fought through every moment—and I recovered my last and final blessing: my son.
Hope and Advocacy
For all the women out there suffering from HG, know that you are not alone. Advocate for yourself and remember that what you’re feeling is real—it’s not “all in your head.”
Don’t let anyone downplay your condition. We are literally fighting for our lives while trying to create life. I regret the decisions I had to make every day, but I find some comfort in knowing I tried everything before giving up.
Excuse my language, but F*CK HG. It ruined me.
Sincerely,
A HG Survivor
