How do I do this?

Including Post Partum Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder & flashbacks.

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How do I do this?

Postby meri » Apr 19, 2013 8:47 am

How can I do this for 3-4 more months (which hoping it doesn't last longer than last time).

I already feel so guilty, my husband and parents have to do everything as any little movement makes me feel like throwing up even more.

I have to go to work as we would lose our home and/or not be able to eat if I didn't. And while I'm currently not eating, my husband and daughter still need to.

My daughter is 3.5 and asks me every morning if I'm still sick and is sad when I say yes. She just can't understand.

Some days I literally want to die, or wish I would miscarry and that makes me feel even worse and more guilty and sick. But it's hard no to. I just feel so angry, as this was not an intended pregnancy.

Thank goodness I haven't needed any IV yet, but a part of me would rather do that because drinking makes me gag and throw up.
meri
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Re: How do I do this?

Postby leahmsilverman » Apr 19, 2013 11:10 am

Oh, we have all had those thoughts. I think *especially* when the pregnancy is unintended. My current pregnancy is also unintended and I was an emotional wreck when the hg first set and really started getting bad. I wished for a miscarriage, and I told me husband it would be such a relief if it would happen. Of course, the truth of it is that that's not true. And I know that now that I'm well into the 2nd trimester. But in those early days of the first trimester... well, that was different. And I have nothing but compassion for women who are still in the early stages; it is brutal. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. You just can't explain it to someone who hasn't been there.

Give yourself a break. Try to rest and relax as much as you can. Accept all the help you can get for your family and friends. Even if you think you can manage without going in to get fluids, do it if if will help you feel better. It won't hurt, and it will likely help. What meds are you taking? Perhaps we can give you some advice on other things to try.

For your 3.5 year old, I'd really recommend the book Mama Has Hyperemesis (But Only For Awhile), by Ashli McCall. You can get it on amazon. It really helped my 4 year old grasp what is going on, and that it will end and then we'll have a baby. Heck, it even helped my 2 year old--although he doesn't grasp as much, he did grasp that this is temporary.

Keep coming back and venting to us. Everyone here understands.
DS 12/22/08, hg from 10wks to birth
DS 09/15/10, hg from 6wks to birth
DS due in 08/2013, hg from 4wks to birth
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Re: How do I do this?

Postby meri » Apr 19, 2013 11:44 am

Thank you so much for your response. It means a lot that someone else knows what I'm going through.

My first pregnancy was so miserable my husband even suggested termination, which of course was just an idle thought. At the time I felt so awful for even considering it. I still do even with this "oopsie"

I'm already on Zofran 8mgx3, Phenergan 25mg 4-6hrs, Nexium 40mg, and Zantac 150 2x/day. I think my OB hates hearing from me. The male doctors in that practice just basically tell you to shut up and deal with it. The female OBs will actually give you scripts but don't really know what to do. I was considering asking to switch the Phenergan for Reglan. Although last time Phenergan was a total lifesaver - this time I can't even tell a difference. I am only throwing up 3-4 times a day now, but every single second is a struggle to keep my water/food down. last pregnancy I would drink water just so I had something to throw up besides acid. It only made me feel better for about 30 seconds :(

Thank goodness my husband takes care of everything while we are at home and drives me to and from work so I can throw up (the car always makes me sick!)

I just feel sad, and that this is neverending!
meri
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Re: How do I do this?

Postby leahmsilverman » Apr 19, 2013 2:42 pm

Yeah. Termination is something I would never consider in my right mind. But, even that crossed my mind early on this pregnancy. Even though I could never bring myself to (and am glad that I didn't-I'm starting to get excited about meeting this little boy) I have totally sympathy for women who choose it.

It sounds like you are on a decent regimen of meds. I hate to add more, but have you tried the Unisom/B6 combination? In the early days I was on both phenergan and zofran (and pepcid) and I also took Unisom and B6 at regular intervals. I feel like the other meds stop me from throwing up, but the unisom and B6 help with the nausea. If you haven't tried it yet, it is worth a shot. Have you tried reglan before? I've found that different things work in different pregnancies. In previous pregnancies, phenergan had no effect on me and this time it was a life saver. Maybe Reglan is also worth a shot.

And if you are not getting understanding care from your OB, I'd recommend switching practices if you can. There is nothing worse than an OB who tells you to suck it up when you can't keep your own spit down.

Yay for your supportive husband. Give him a high five for me. Unless that would make you sick. Then just tell him to pretend. It's the thought that counts. :wink:

Hang in there, mama. I know it feels like forever, but it is not. One day at a time.
DS 12/22/08, hg from 10wks to birth
DS 09/15/10, hg from 6wks to birth
DS due in 08/2013, hg from 4wks to birth
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Re: How do I do this?

Postby DebbieS » Apr 19, 2013 7:42 pm

It's good your family is being helpful, and so hard that you need to work through this. If you want to try reglan I'd suggest trying it on top of what you are taking (ie don't stop taking the phenergan). Phenergan is an antihistamine & it is recommended that you take an antihistamine while taking reglan to minimise side effects. Of course, you could try swapping phenergan with a different antihistamine, like unisom or Benadryl, even if it's just the night time dose. How long have you not been eating for?
Deb
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DS 2003; Loss 2005.
DD 2007.
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